Monday, November 18th, 2013
Writing Experiment #7--I Am a Russian Tailor
Thirty Minutes (Ten to explain and model; twenty to type)
Here's the assignment:
1. Write a poem about yourself that is filled with lies.
2. Try to make up creative, dramatic lies, rather than saying things such as “I have two cats” or “I love chocolate pudding.”
3. Your Writing Task: Write a poem that is a series of creative, dramatic lies!
4. Don’t worry about what order you put stuff in—just type/write the lies as fast as you can!
Some Examples of Lines—Notice How They SHOW! (Concrete Details; Precise Diction)
1. I have dog breath, even though I brush my teeth ten times a day.
2. I love to wake up early and watch the sunrise.
3. I have seventeen middle names, one of which is Gertrude.
4. My imaginary whip sound is the best in the universe.
5. All the windows in my house are made of titanium.
6. I think bright red and neon green look good together.
7. I like it when people whine; it makes me want to hug them.
8. I had to kill a unicorn yesterday.
9. I love to lick chalk dust
10. I heat my house with lightning and ten tiny hamsters chained to an electric generator.
11. I burned all the books in my house last week.
12. When I cracked two rocks together, I created a squirrel.
13. I write everything down fifteen times on pink paper.
Reminders About Your First Draft of RUSSIAN TAILOR
1. NO BODILY FUNCTIONS! Please, and thank you!
2. JUST WRITE, LINE AFTER LINE, LIE AFTER LIE!
3. YOU WILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO REVISE LATER THIS WEEK:
Here’s a model:
Money Grows on Trees
I eat no meat whatsoever.
I eat salad for a living it’s all I can find.
When I sneeze pigeons come out my nose.
I love it when bull sharks snack on my leg meat.
Washington schools are nice and brand spanking new. I love them.
This is Sparta.
Tonight I will dine in hell.
I shot the sheriff.
I am so happy that pigs can fly.
I taught them last week.
My house is made of ginger bread and candy cane.
I run a Columbian drug cartel.
I lay eggs in my kitchen sink.
I invented the wheel and sliced bread.
London Bridge fell down last week.
I have two left feet and one is a sausage.
My blood is cherry flavored.
I have a son named Damien.
Two plus two equals chicken.
Here's another model of what the poem would look like after it is revised:
The Truth and Nothing but the Truth
I can throw it down better than Lebron James.
I have hit more home runs than Babe Ruth.
I beat Usain Bolt in a race without breaking a sweat.
I decided to make the sky blue.
I invented the wheel...it just came to me in the shower.
The Apple logo was inspired by an apple I bit.
I was the first to hear Kelly Clarkson’s song “What Doesn’t Kill You” in a private concert.
I have won the Iowa State Fair cattle show so many times it isn’t even exhilarating anymore.
I have been 3A State Champion in the Discus and Shotput for two years straight.
I threw twice as far as everyone else.
It was kind of an off day for me.
I own a panda farm.
I keep them in my basement and then sell them on Craigslist.
I dated Zac Efron for three years.
I ended it because it was getting too serious.
In my free time, I like to take my private jet to my beach house in Hawaii.
I love it when my sister comes home from college and I can get away with everything.
My sister and have never fought in our lives.
I love wearing dresses and nice clothes.
Sweatpants are a sin.
I despise sleeping.
It makes me happy when I get to wake up at the crack of dawn.
Especially for lifting at 6:25 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
I love going to school.
Getting loads of homework is the highlight of my day.
Especially when I get to stay up till midnight or later working on it.
Summer is so boring there is no homework to keep you busy.
I wish we had school all year around
I have never lied, not even once.
“I Am a Russian Tailor” (2o minutes)
1. Type at least twenty-five different lines.
2. Be CREATIVE and DRAMATIC.
3. Use your vocab variety sheet to help you be precise and descriptive.
4. Include as many senses (sight, sound, texture, smell, taste, color) as you can.
5. When you complete #1-4, move on to the items in blue below.
When You Finish
1. Go to our class folder, and find the spreadsheet called “Strongest Russian Tailor Line”, and copy and paste your BEST LINE there: https://docs.google.com/a/washington.k12.ia.us/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Aopq4r-bWrm_dEpQa3Iza3hfOWlpYmtxbjk2ajFJanc#gid=0
2. Check your grade on powerschool, and click on all the little notes I’ve left some of you. If you can resolve one of these issues, do so, and e-mail me—do not come talk to me about it. I want a written record.
3. Play free rice; 15,000 grains are due Friday. (homework all week)
Welcome to CPR! Monday, November 18, 2013
This took us the remainder of the block.